i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's the barista slut.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
