There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
