What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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