She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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