Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
