I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
