Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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