What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
