just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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