she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
