ya dads aren't the best wingmen
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
