Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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