I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
