Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
