Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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