i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize