It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The air taste purple.
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