Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
