Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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