Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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