No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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