You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What a dumb baby whore.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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