I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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