Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
