she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
