There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize