he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
