she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
