Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
