Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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