So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
