Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
