Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Text me some of your sweat
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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