I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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