What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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