When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
