On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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