Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
