i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
