pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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