Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
