Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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