I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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