are you so shy because you have an std?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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