I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
