The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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