And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
