I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Can I color on your dick again?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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