ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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