I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
