Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
