is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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