It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
