so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Enjoy the penises
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
