So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
