those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
