He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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