nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
